Soul ties: What can I do if I have made soul ties with someone that now bind me in my own sexual purity?
We did not go into this subject in detail in the course, but it is incredibly important that you detach yourself from all soul ties that you have entered into due to ungodly connections. For example, this can be sex that you had with someone, but it can also be inappropriate physical contact; such as touching private body parts. Unhealthy bonds between people are also possible on an emotional level and do not disappear unnoticed; even if you are no longer in contact with that person. They are often subconscious bonds, but they influence your behavior and thinking. An example of an unhealthy emotional attachment is when you open up too much in a relationship and reveal things that are not in accordance with the level of trust and commitment in your relationship.
To get a better idea of this, the following comparison may help you:
Imagine that you glue two pages of paper together by applying a large amount of glue and pressing them together. If you now want to separate these pages again, it inevitably leads to two scraps of paper remaining. With some pieces of paper sticking to the other side, and vice versa. It is the same with spiritual bonds. With every bond you make, you give something of your soul (your thinking, will, and emotions) and carry something of the other person.
That is why we speak of soul ties.
Consuming pornography also creates bonds with the porn actors, and that must be renounced. The separation can look different: Consciously separate yourself from performers with whom you have purposefully built a bond through repeated consumption. All other soul ties to porn actors can be combined in another prayer of renunciation.
In a healthy relationship, where trust and commitment correspond to each other, this kind of intimacy and commitment is even necessary. However, if you have entered into a connection with someone that has gone far beyond your commitment and now binds you to that person in an unhealthy way. Then, it is necessary to return and reclaim those parts, which can be done with prayer. If you feel as if your own soul is shattered – and that’s exactly what it is. Know that you can, and should get it back and allow God to heal it.
Bring each one of these connections before God and say this prayer with me:
“Jesus, I bring you my relationship with …., I bring you …..(list what exactly happened). I ask for your forgiveness and I acknowledge that my actions were wrong. I detach myself from any connection with …. . I sever and break all spiritual, physical, and emotional ties with this person. I return … … and reclaim … … from … …
I thank you Father for forgiving me. I now nail all shame, fear, and feelings of condemnation to the cross. Thank you that you can make everything new and that I stand before you as a pure woman; without any blemish. Teach me to act according to your principles and teach me how you want me to live out purity in my life. I accept your forgiveness and love. I break off any connections with that person. I thank you that I can leave this with you.
Why is breaking of soul ties so important? During every sexual act, our body releases the hormone oxytocin. This is a bonding hormone. Sex is an act to consummate marriage and is beautiful as a bonding enhancer. However, lived out incorrectly, it can lead to an unhealthy and fatal dependency.
The good news is, through this prayer you have given the keys to these addictions back to Jesus and He can truly make all things new. Forgive yourself and don’t allow shame and lies steal your freedom again.
You are called to purity. If you trust God, He will teach you to live a life of purity, freedom and eventually healthy, holy sexuality.
Finally, I would like to emphasize one thing to you. On your way to living as a pure woman, find a friend to whom you can be accountable and share openly; without sugarcoating.
The area of purity in particular, can become such a huge stumbling block. Don’t think that you can do it all by yourself, and don’t overestimate yourself. It is wise to journey together with others. Together we are stronger.
Remember, God sees you as a pure and beautiful woman. He believes in you!
(If you have entered into sexual unions, you have asked God for forgiveness, but now in your marriage you have problems with your sexuality because of your past. Then, I want to promise you: open up, talk openly about it with your partner and seek professional help together. Your sexuality is worth fighting for and God wants to give you a new unity. It is never too late 🙂