The problem was that after all these years of consuming porn, I did not become completely free from it overnight. The list of needs and longings I wrote down and mentioned above were quite short at the beginning but became longer and longer the more I thought through it. All the areas of my life were saturated with and controlled by pornography without me being aware of it. There were times in which I watched porn several times a day and other times when I only watched it one or two times a week. There were certain triggers and mechanisms which had snuck in and embedded themselves. It took time. But God helped me to find them, gradually, to identify them and to bring them before him. An example: I had developed the habit of always playing with myself in front of a porn video, if something had left me very frustrated or stressed during the day. Or if I felt rejected. When I became aware of this pattern, I tried something new. Instead of masturbating and watching a porn video, I laid down in bed and prayed. I talked to God. I just started rattling things off and complained to him about my situation. I opened up my heart. I let him have all the frustration and pain, then I asked him to deal with these lacks in my life.

So I just lay there, frustrated, hurt and stressed, and I waited for Him to do what He had promised. And He did. The lack was gone. It was so bland and simple, somehow, that I could hardly believe it. The urge to consume pornography was just gone. Logically, because the real need had been met. Sometimes I would still watch a porn video out of habit but something had changed. It didn’t do anything for me. I just saw pictures and it didn’t stir any desire in me, only sadness. Porn made me sad. God had changed my heart.

If you feel a desire to watch a porn video in the near future, just take a step back, and ask yourself, why you want to do it. Find out what your wound is and what need it is related to. Name this need concretely before God. I will give you a little bit of help to start with until you find your own words. You can pray like this: “God I feel exposed and powerless. I long for a feeling of security and control.” Then use a Bible verse to remind your own soul that God has promised to take care of your needs. You can draw from Psalm 23, for example. Count on God answering you. Either with a new verse, direct communication or through the decline in this longing for satisfaction. Let Him change your heart. Are you ready to start?